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Joke of the Day

"When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling."

"What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice? Neck-romance-y."

"My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you"

"What's the difference between acetone and Hitler? One is used to remove the polish, and the other is used to remove the Polish."

"LPT: If at first you don't succeed Repost in another sub"

"Posting a Joke on reddit is like going to a bar... You see the same shit repeated every week, but you can't stop from yourself from going there."

"Q: Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt? A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform."

"The average person swallows over 4,000 spiders each year. More than that. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of spiders. It's crazy."

"I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom."

"""HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!"" ""Has it got ears?"" ""YEAH."" ""Tail?"" ""YEAH."" ""Is it the dog?"" ""I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"""