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Joke of the Day

"[cop car] Buzzfeed Guy: It's okay I work for Buzzfeed Cop: You robbed 10 banks Buzzfeed Guy: You wouldn't believe how much I got from #6!"

"I only like two things in my life. Boobs."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef? He *pasta* away."

"Why hurricanes are named after women Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them."

"Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags: ""I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."" ""Sir, you can't do that."" ""Why not? It happened the last time."""

"What does an uncircumcised gangster say?.. ""I cum from the hood"""

"I'm in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not."

"a boy died in a microwave while playing hide and seek...silly kids these days pretending to be hot pockets"

"I call my car the ""pussy wagon"" because that's where I go to cry."

"Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon."