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Joke of the Day

"I only like two things in my life. Boobs."

"What do you call suicide committed while shitting? Seppooku."

"How to be cool: A) Use the cool sunglasses emoticon B)"

"I keep the streets safe at night by staying home."

"Did you hear about the constipated chancellor? He couldn't budge it :P"

"Why aren't lions cannibals? They can't swallow their pride."

"If you remove ET from the alphabet, how many letters are still there in the alphabet? 21, because ET left Earth in a UFO."

"Your mama is so ugly I will slap her face off of her face!"

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you racist bastard."