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Joke of the Day

"X = Y The teacher asked the student, ""If x=y, what is x?"" The student answered, ""y?"" The teacher replied, ""why not?"""

"Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements? He needed to have an Even Flow."

"Just ran a .3K (Ice cream truck wouldn't stop)"

"What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!"

"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"

"I had sex last night. Man I hate prison"

"Can I have your picture, So Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me on this CHRISTMAS."

"The grass is always greener When its not my weed"

"Best joke I've ever made *I open the door to leave the house* Me: It's raining outside? Mom: Yeah, and it's chilly; you might want a jacket. Me: It's raining chili?!"

"My friends call me The Archeologist Because I date old, dusty pieces of junk"