79895

Joke of the Day

"Why is math a scumbag? Because it borrows the one and never gives it back."

"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""

"What do you call an underdeveloped chicken fetus in a frat house? ...an embroyo! heyooooooooo"

"Dreading going to gym. It's kinda late. Open 24hrs, tho. Hey, you know who else is open 24hrs? McDonalds. Yeah. I'm going to McDonald's."

"Walmart's hair salon doesn't charge extra to cut a live bat out of your hair."

"How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ? She's got that down in the mouth look !"

"Japanese soccer. 'Murica, fuck yeah!"

"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!"

"Why did the jew leave the party early? He had gas."

"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""