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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally took 1 of my girlfriend's multivitamins for women & I've been looking at engagement rings & crying uncontrollably for 4 hours"

"My girlfriend is like an Australian Olympian She always comes second."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"A Dyslexic Devil Worshipper Sold his Soul to Santa."

"24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

"The longest joke in the world. [Worth it.] (http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com)"

"What's a comedian's favorite candy? Laffy Taffy."

"What do you call a mutant with the power to get women pregnant Impregneato"

"parents just reaming ms frizzle out at a pta meeting. ""you took our kids to god damn outer space. we didnt even have to sign a form"""

"A new study shows dogs recognize pictures of their owners. Also, they're like, ""Why are you showing me photos? I'm a dog."""