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Joke of the Day

"How do you spell badly? With a broken magic wand."

"Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?"

"Me: Got your nose! Baby: *drags from cig* Let me tell you how this is going down. You give me back my nose & maybe I let u walk out of here."

"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"

"What do you call a ghost without any feet? A lost sole"

"What does a chameleon that can't change color suffer from? Reptile disfunction"

"Why did a hungry African man crossed the road? To get the aids."

"Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."

"So i brought home a piece of furniture last night... but it left in the morning without saying a word. It was one nightstand."

"My son was four when he came up with this: Knock Knock Who's there? Hulk. Hulk w.../HULK SMASH!!"