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Joke of the Day

"Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."

"What's the difference between sand and period blood? I can't gargle with sand."

"What type of milk is swiss cheese made of? Whole milk."

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1, it's a goddamn electrician, what'd you expect?"

"Why are Communists bad Java programmers? They don't like classes."

"Why are all lesbians ill? They lack vitamin D"

"The escalator at the gym is broken, this is BULLSHIT."

"Yesterday I took laxatives and laughing gas at the same time...... For shits and giggles."

"What happens when you witness a shipwreck? You let it sink in."

"African scientists are saying people who died of Ebola are coming back to life... But thats ridiculous, every one knows theres no such thing as african scientists."