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Joke of the Day

"Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?"

"The Panther's defense is so impenetrable... That Trump wants Mexico to pay their salary"

"One of my friends told me he didn't like it when I made fish jokes. But I think he was just being koi."

"What makes you sweat during the summer? A sweater."

"What do you call a court case in which an immigrant is suing over sexual harassment? *Alien v. Predator*"

"Black people are way more susceptible to diabetes. That's not racist, it's a medical fact. Now if I said ""hide your wallets, there's diabetes patients around here,"" that would be racist."

"Day 1 of being kidnapped. Kidnappers are now offering my husband a ransom to take me back. Husband is asking for more money."

"Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward ? Brother: How do you know which way I'm going ?"

"If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would I have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"What did they say to the doctor that wanted to sew his own stitches? ""Suture self!"""