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Joke of the Day

"What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"I just went to an emotional wedding. even the cake was in tiers."

"Mexican Olympic Team Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics? Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute? The looks on their faces while you're nailing them."

"What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now."

"FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food."

"To be fair, ""old-fashioned"" doesn't necessarily mean racist; it could also mean sexist."

"I hope I never have more than one kid because the urge to superglue two children together is a crippling desire I struggle against everyday."