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Joke of the Day

"I hope I never have more than one kid because the urge to superglue two children together is a crippling desire I struggle against everyday."

"Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road? he missed the rains down in africa"

"Why do sheep love Star Wars Episode V? Because Dey-go-bah."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."

"Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook."

"Who do you get if you cross Arnold Schwarzenegger with Michael Jackson? Michael Wasanigger"

"Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes it is a quartet. - How many are you? - We are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No why do you ask?"

"What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener? One of them has to water their vegetables"

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."