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Joke of the Day

"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."

"A man walks up to three old ladies. He flashes them his penis. The first two ladies immediatly had a stroke. The third one didn't dare touch it."

"*sneezes* ""MY DUST COLLECTION!"""

"How do we know Mayberry's Andy Taylor was a Redditor? He had sex with Opie's mom."

"What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant? You have diafetus"

"I wear a diaper for two reasons... Number one and number two."

"My credit card was stolen today I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. So far he's spending way less than my wife does."

"How many girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know..."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because, he ate the pizza before it was cool."

"What does the ""B"" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot."