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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"What did one leg say to the other? Shorty's growin a beard."

"What did the woman say to the vampire when she woke up with her period? ""I made you breakfast in bed!"""

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? YOUR MOMMA!"

"Ever done it with an attack helicopter? Let me tell you. It's pretty fly."

"My stalker sucks. She needs to try harder. I always have to keep going & finding her. It's like I'm following HER around. It's ridiculous."

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it!"

"Why shouldn't you tell secrets on the farm? The corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk."

"What is beethoven doing in his grave Decomposing haha it's funni"