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Joke of the Day

"What did the woman say to the vampire when she woke up with her period? ""I made you breakfast in bed!"""

"I need to stop seeing caution tape as some kind of finish line."

"What do you call a dog underwater? A sub woofer."

"Common sense: Walk away. Me: No."

"My St. Patrick's Day Joke Q:How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? A:Zero"

"Mexican magician A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof*... He disappered without a tres."

"Did you hear the library at the University of Alabama burned down this morning? All three books were destroyed. One of them wasn't even colored in yet."

"Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That'll really come in handy if life starts going backwards."

"A survey was held on what citizens of the United Kingdom thought of the new DOOM game... The overwhelming response was ""bloody hell"""

"[gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* ""I'm not sure yet"""