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Joke of the Day

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."

"How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding? ""Mon, soon."""

"I recently bought a spinning chair... My girlfriend was super pissed about my purchase. Until I let her sit on it. I guess you could say she... *came around*."

"I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now"

"I love my wife My wife told me that she wanted to give me a deepthroat blowjob today. ""Really!"" I exclaimed. ""No,"" She said, ""April Foogargagggrraggggle."" That'll teach her to try and be funny..."

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"I went to the zoo the other day,... there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu."

"Did you hear about the failed mission to Antarctica? Their journey went south."

"If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four they'd be called chicken sedans!"