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Joke of the Day

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood? Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail."

"I watched a documentary about the lives of beavers last night... It was the best dam movie I've ever seen."

"* drinks 6 pack of muscle milk * * checks for abs *"

"What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch? Paddy O' furniture"

"Man outside walmart is asking for donations for the drug and alcohol outreach program You mean there's people who don't have access to them?"

"I just invented a new word: plagiarism."

"ELI5: Why do i suck at posting in the right sub?"

"Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia."

"My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth."