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Joke of the Day

"My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"

"how much is a life-time supply of fast food? Not much."

"Ok gas pump, enough! Credit or debit? Zip code? Reward Card? Car Wash? Receipt? What octane? It takes less buttons to launch a nuke!"

"*wife stares at me* *I stare at her* *she frowns* *I smile* ""You didn't notice my new-"" ""NICE HAIRCUT AND GLASSES."" ""Dress."""

"CNN is fucked if their viewers ever discover they can access the Internet on their own."

"Amazing scenes in rural US as Trump supporters are seen high-sixing each other."

"How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb."

"Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do."

"Don't worry. Nobody else wants Sharona."