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Joke of the Day

"Mixed martial arts? Why you gotta make biracial people fight each other though?"

"I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS"

"Dad: I had a son once Stranger: what happened to him? D: he touched the thermostat Kid: dad, I'm like right here D: you hear something?"

"How do you make a Jewish philosopher have a Eureka moment? Tell him the Final Solution."

"I guess I am not so smart! cuz i cannot *make-up* my mind!!"

"Did you hear the one about the crossed eyed teacher? She couldn't keep her Pupils straight"

"What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did; in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the other people in his car."

"What did the fish thief say to the cops when he turned himself in? I gillt was killing me."

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world The ones who can count, and those who can't."