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Joke of the Day

"My Thai girlfriend says a small penis isn't a problem in a loving relationship... I still wish she didn't have one."

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."

"*sips some coffee & interrupts break room conversation* ""Technically we're all under the weather today unless you're an astronaut in orbit"""

"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."

"How do you know you're talking to a sales guy? He says ""I'm not a sales guy""."

"[1st date] me: do you want kids? her: Yes me: GREAT [pulls 7 babies out from under table] HERE'S MINE HAVE FUN GOTTA GO"

"Did you know Brian Welch, the former drummer of Korn opened up an Orphanage in India? ...and you should have seen the look on those little orphans' faces when they heard korn was coming!"

"DiCaprio movie endings; Shutter Island: is he dead? Titanic: is the boat dead? Romeo & Juliet: is everyone dead? Inception: am I dead?"

"I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice.... but he's having Nunavut."

"If the camera adds ten pounds.. Do African kids even exist?"