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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."
Next Joke
"When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they're judging and disparaging it with little British accents."
"After writing Revelations, John ask God... ""Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"" ""*No, by Trump/Pence.*"" ""Right, so trumpets."" ""*Fuck it, they'll figure it out.*"""
"Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Cos they got big fingers."
"Iron Man is a super hero... Iron woman is a command."
"My music preferences range between something your grandma would listen to, to something that could potentially kill her."
"What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes"""
"My GF and I would kick ass at the newlywed game. I know 100% of her answers to questions is "" I don't know""."
"A man goes to his Doctor. man- Doc i cant stop singing Tom Jones songs, have you ever heard of such a thing? Doctor- Its not unusual."
"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."