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Joke of the Day

"Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"Just got my drivers license and I'm already getting compliments! Someone left a note on my car which said ""Parking fine!"" I was so happy :)"

"Progress Johnny do you still throw stones at birds ? No sir, now i use slingshot."

"What gets whiter as it gets dirtier? Michael Jackson!"

"The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass."

"Took a career aptitude test. My results: sports team mascot, bridge troll, sign twirler, petting zoo shit shoveler"

"How did the blond chip her tooth? With her vibrator"

"Why do gods eat swiss cheese? Because its holy"