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Joke of the Day

"Just got my drivers license and I'm already getting compliments! Someone left a note on my car which said ""Parking fine!"" I was so happy :)"

"my grandad came to this country with four pounds in his pocket, my nan was holding a suitcase full of cash & heroin"

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, he's grown ass man and fishing isn't that hard."

"As a cat burglar most of my late night break-ins are actually well orchestrated attempts to pet other peoples animals."

"Why was the black man so tall? ...Because his knee grows."

"Anyone have a lot of unused pregnancy tests? Hate to see all this pee go to waste."

"Lady Gaga is set to launch her first fragrance in 2012. It will be called ""Eau I left the toilet seat up""."

"How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company."

"When you lick the icing off a spoon... Are you defrosting it?"

"A ""your mama"" joke for the books. Your mama is so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead... Just to make up her mind."