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Joke of the Day
"Progress Johnny do you still throw stones at birds ? No sir, now i use slingshot."
Next Joke
"I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)"
"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"
"just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio"
"A cop pulls an illegal immigrant over near the US-Mexico border and asks ""Papers?"" The immigrant responds ""Scissors"" and drives away"
"Autocorrect changed ""meeting"" to ""mating"" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work."
"I see children like I see bongo drums They're slightly irritating but it's fashionable for the rich to bring them back from Africa Edit:people also dislike it when you beat them In public"
"*Gets pulled over by cop* ""Papers?"" ""Scissors"" *Cop removes glasses* ""Rocks?"" *Both start successful trap house*"
"Damn girl, you give people cancer. Because you're shining like the sun."
"White girls really love their Pumpkin Spice. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice president!"