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Joke of the Day

"Going to a bar within walking distance of my house reduces the likelihood that I will wake up partially clothed behind a dumpster tomorrow."

"Hayao Miyazaki retired That's it. The guy is quit the troll."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? bu-buk-buk- becaaause! (pretend i made chicken noises)"

"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""

"If your middle initial is V, I bet you constantly get mistaken for a court case."

"Did you hear about the guy who robbed blind people? Nobody saw it coming."

"Advice needed, please, on cooking roadkill What do you do with the bike?"

"1. What do you call a man with a flamethrower? 2. What do you call his first victim? 3. What do you call his second victim? 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash"

"What did the leper say the the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt."