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Joke of the Day

"What did the leper say the the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like ""bloody hell"" and ""brilliant"""

"What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ? John."

"Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

"My girlfriend's a crappy computer ... she always shuts down when I need her but never shuts up when I don't."

"I went camping with a bunch of supermodels once. It was pretty in tents."

"Earthquake in DC... This is the shakeup in Washington we needed."

"A tip for Snowden. Apparently he is traveling all of the world but if you never want to appear in front of an American judge there is only one place to go... Guantanomo bay"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill.... And Jill came back with an IPhone 7"

"What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung."