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Joke of the Day

"YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist"

"How'd you sleep last night? Like God during the holocaust."

"Any crime sounds better if you add the word ""silly"" to it: ""silly murder,"" ""silly rape,"" etc."

"""A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat."" I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email."

"The closest I've come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat."

"What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment..."

"Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day... Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Oh so Paris Hilton can carry a dog in her purse but if I leave my baby in a suitcase behind the chicken restaurant I'm some kind of monster."

"Why don't golddiggers eat fruit? An apple a day keeps the doctors away"

"Why can't some people help being born Chinese? Because there's nothing wong with it."