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Joke of the Day

"YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist"

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Why does Daenerys take so long to get places? She keeps *dragon* her feet."

"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"

"The MAN makes the BIG decisions. The WOMAN makes the LITTLE decisions... Married over 16 years, haven't made a BIG decision yet."

"I hate thinking of new passwords. Last time I did I chose ""Penis."" But got the error: Your password is too short. I tried BBCPenis, that was too many characters. Guess that ones too long."

"Noah in a pet shop ""Two of every animal please"" ""Want any unusual examples?"" ""No, just arky-types"""

"If by raw food you mean cookie dough, then yes, I love raw food."

"A drum solo but on your face."

"My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I always relate everything to Batman. What a Joker."