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Joke of the Day

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say ""Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"""

"What do you do when someone has a seizure in the bathtub? Throw in your laundry!"

"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."

"September 1st Never forget"

"[Gets cut off by a Pruis] *Speeds up to cut off Prius then drops a banana peel behind me* *Prius spins out of control* Thug life."

"Women jokes are not funny Period."

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"College hot dogs What do uou call a hot dog in college? A FRATwurst! Hahahahahaha"

"Rick Astley voted in the referendum. He's never gunna give EU up"