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Joke of the Day

"When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put ""lame shorts"" and nothing happened"

"What do you call two girls having their menstrual cycles? A menstrual bicycle."

"The doctors found a malignant tumor at my checkup the other day... It's really starting to grow on me"

"What did the bull-fighter say to the upset door? What's the matador?"

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in five years. Come on folks, I'm not going to live that long."

"I'm like a fireman, I turn the hoes on."

"The guy who stole my personal journal has died... My thoughts are with his family."

"I ate catnip today. I enjoyed it, but the cat sure didn't."

"Wanted to know what the did in the Pentagon... So I built a Hexagon *they"

"You know what we used to call vegetarians? Idiots that couldn't hunt or fish."