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Joke of the Day
"Gaining weight from drinking so much water? Drink lighter fluid"
Next Joke
"If there's one thing I'm better at than everyone else... It's humility."
"Most Well-known Speeches: 1. Gettysburg Address - Abe Lincoln 2. I Have a Dream - Martin Luther King 3. You Need to Floss - Every Dentist"
"What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once"
"It must be pretty inconvenient when you meet someone from a dating site and you're already married to them."
"[OC] I invented a word: plagiarism."
"I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work"
"Why did D.R.E. call his headphones Beats? He named them after his favorite father-son activity."
"As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog."
"Are you a psychic porn star? Because you're blowing my mind"