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Joke of the Day

"I woke up because of birds chirping.nI wish I had wings too.nI would fly to each of these birds & choke them one by one. n6 am is too early."

"Don't judge Charlie Sheen until you've snorted a mile in his coke."

"What do salads and Mexicans have in common ? They both benefit America!"

"Why was Skrillex never in an orchestra? Because he would always drop the bass"

"How do you make your wife a dildo? Stick her fingers up your butt."

"The only thing standing between you and your dreams is insomnia."

"Why don't Asians like bowling Because it's bowring I'm sorry"

"My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos."

"What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ... Then I thought, look what's telling me that."