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Joke of the Day

"They're going to start playing porn at the fuel pumps.... This is so you can watch someone else being fucked at the same time as you."

Next Joke
 
"I would be a better president than Donald Trump This is probably the wrong place to post this because that's not a fucking joke."
"How Many Kids With A.D.D Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes??"
"The bitches love me because I'm well spoken, intelligent and would never disrespect them and shit."
"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback."
"The first gay couple has married in Ireland. Please send best regards to Gerald Fitzpatrick who wedded Patrick Fitzgerald."
"[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition."
"My 'Sleep Number' is Grey Goose."
"What do you call children born in whore houses? Brothel sprouts..."
"Mom hires magician for birthday party, Voldemort #badluckbrian"