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Joke of the Day

"This Friday millions of people will risk getting trampled to get the best seat on a car This is commonly referred to as 'Rebecca Black Friday'."

"I'm 6'5"" and I can't stop talking down to everyone"

"What did the scientist say to his hot assistant? ""There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."""

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"My dad keeps throwing erasers at me... My dad keeps throwing erasers at me and I finally snapped, ""Why dad!"" he replied ""the first rubber I used didn't get rid of my mistake, maybe this one will"""

"When i was younger i had part of my colon removed Now i only have a semicolon"

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"What do you call a fat female assassin? A killer whale."

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television, 1$, volume stuck on full"" I thought to myself, I can't turn that down."

"What do you call a good looking girl in Wisconsin? A Tourist!"