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Joke of the Day

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? ""You going to eat that?"""

"What's the best way to knock out a dog? with a woofie."

"Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night? A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog"

"Friends invited me to a meteor shower party, but I couldn't make it. They were crushed."

"Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian? Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out"

"""Fuller House"" was billed on a misleading premise. There wasn't a single geodesic dome to be seen."

"The police get mad at you if you try to marry a squirrel. Even if you're pretty sure it's a girl squirrel."

"Why did the boy fail to become a footballer ? He didn't have any goal in his life"

"At what time does Sean Connery arrive at The Wimbledon? Tenish..."