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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a horny Welshman on top of the Space Needle? Sheepless in Seattle"

"I've seen Han Solo land the Millennium Falcon on an asteroid, I'm sure he can handle landing a plane on a golf course."

"CUTE GIRL IN BAR: *walks up, points to my empty glass* Want another? ME: (OK don't blow this) Sure *she hands me her empty glass & leaves*"

"A leaf blower, but for people."

"How do you get Lady Gaga to leave you alone? You Poke-r Face."

"Hate it when dudes say ""leave something to the imagination!"" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?"

"Is there a punchline to this chemistry joke? Nobelium"

"I don't like dictatorships. All dictators should be shot, and if anybody disagrees with me, they should be shot as well."

"Q: Why do pigs make good spies? A: They're excellent at going in-hog-nito."

"A boy walks into a butchers and asks for a pound of kidelies Do you mean kidneys? asks the butcher. boy: I said that didelie?"