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Joke of the Day

"I've seen Han Solo land the Millennium Falcon on an asteroid, I'm sure he can handle landing a plane on a golf course."

"I had to stop breeding rabbits... I found it to be a hare raising experience."

"My girlfriend treats me like I'm God She ignores my existence and doesn't ever speak to me."

"A schmooze.... ...what Sean Connery calls an afternoon nap"

"He: So then, what's your sign? She: Dollar. "

"What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom? Angus McCoatup"

"Ugh Starbucks spelled my name right again and now I have nothing to Instagram."

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he sipped his coffee before it was cool."

"A large hole appeared on the fence of the nudist camp... ...The police are looking into it."