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Joke of the Day

"A leaf blower, but for people."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs."

"If you're still undecided on a certain tattoo, try it out first on your baby."

"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."

"Love doesn't walk away, people do."

"If I ever have two sons, I'll name one Penn and the other Sword, then make them wrestle a lot just to see if it's true."

"What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells."

"It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days."

"Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire."

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."