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Joke of the Day

"What causes a pilot to cry after sex? ...the [mace](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_(spray)"

"*eats half a pan of brownies while making salad for dinner*"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a loaf of bread with a buffalo? A: A buffaloaf."

"You might be a redneck if... 1. You don't know the difference between your lawn and your driveway. 2. Watching Jerry Springer reminds you of your neighbors 3. Your family tree is a circle"

"If you feel unsure about a new haircut, ask a man if it looks okay. But ask him many, many, many times. Never be satisfied with his answer."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever."

"My son asked today: Why the dude's ear is blinking blue? Because he has a blue tooth in his ear..."

"Can't you see I'm on an important phone call with a host from QVC?"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster, then he rolled over and fell asleep."

"Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities"