129784

Joke of the Day

"""Of course I can paint your ceiling,"" Michaelangelo scoffed. ""Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."""

"Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush? The Naked Ape!"

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"

"Why couldn't the American leave Russia? He was snowden"

"My son just referred to a beaver as a ""wood-eater"". So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem he's correct on two levels."

"What do you call a fruit that procrastinates? ...A Cramberry!"

"My wife fave birth to our daughter yesterday. She was born with jaundice So there she was - small round and yellow. We called her *melon*-y"

"If your uncle Jack was riding a horse named Bill Cosby, and your uncle got stuck on the horse, would you help your uncle Jack off Bill Cosby?"

"A tornado hit a local dairy farm. Da-Brie was scattered everywhere!"

"2 men walk into a bar... You'd think the 2nd man would've ducked"