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Joke of the Day

"A tornado hit a local dairy farm. Da-Brie was scattered everywhere!"

"Penises are like internet connections Having a big pipe is great, but it doesn't do you much good if you don't have any uptime."

"If wine is considered the blood of Jesus, I don't blame those romans for killing him. That shit is delicious"

"[hitting on hot babe in bar] "".. You're 28? NO WAY! I used to be 28! This is spooky. You like oxygen? OMG you're not gonna believe this.."""

"Aliens who abducted a drunk Russian gave in... and let him drive for a bit."

"I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable"

"Modern art is easy to understand. If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance."

"What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand? Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)"

"I have a photographer's memory Or is it photographic? I always forget."

"The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama."