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Joke of the Day

"Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen."

"So a homeless guy asked me to give him $20 to hold him off until payday. I asked him when payday was, and he replied, ""How would I know, you're the one who's working."""

"Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing."

"Why cant a nose be 12 inches long? Cause then it would be a foot."

"There's a joke to be made about Niantic removing the step feature in Pokemon go instead of fixing the bug. But I just can't seem to find it."

"Doctor doctor I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm"

"DATE: so this is my dad and this is his porcelain cat collection ME: wow, I feel like I'm in a DATE: no ME: mewseum DAD: *nods his approval*"

"*steps on Lego* *stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos* *throws all Legos away* *Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*"

"I have daily sex... ... I mean dyslexia."

"Have you ever heard about that joke you can't tell to gay people?"