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Joke of the Day
"Doctor doctor I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm"
Next Joke
"Malaysia Airlines passengers have recently been asked about their flight experience; 5% said they were satisfied. 10% said they were extremely satisfied and 85% said they were blown away."
"What do you cal a wine hangover? The grape depression."
"Halfway into the 20km marathon, I saw my cheating g/f and told her that I was breaking up with her I guess it was the right thing to do in the long run."
"Did you know you can drink Lava? But only once!"
"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"
"""When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?"" ""Because I couldn't find a fake car."""
"Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew."
"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""
"Did you hear they're making a holistic version of Star Wars? It's based on darth vadar's holistic brother, Ayur Veder."