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Joke of the Day

"[auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]"

"me looking at old pictures: why? me looking at old hair cut: why? me looking at old clothes: why? me looking at old crush: why?"

"What do you call a Chinese fanatasy series? Lord Of The Chinks"

"Phones are fake They're phony."

"Does grape jelly go bad or do I just have wine jelly now?"

"Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing."

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"in the middle east you can't drink But you can get stoned For drinking"

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice Belt."

"[Serious] Have any animals besides humans been shown to exhibit humor in their social interactions? Looking for anyone with specific knowledge of this. Any zoolologists out there?"