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Joke of the Day

"Starting now, every hour, on the hour, walk up to a stranger and slip the tongue in. Because it's midnight somewhere. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"Do you know why I stopped playing Uno with my Mexican friends? They steal all the green cards."

"If Steph Curry was a video game character He'd be banned for having no counterplay."

"The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything.... But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away."

"An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he's Hungarian he says ""yep, but my name's not Arian"""

"Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"I'm half Muslim I'm only entitled to 36 virgins"

"Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops? Bloody horrible I said ""Put your bikini top back on"""