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Joke of the Day

"I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love."

"What do Asian pirates do? They fry pranes!"

"How I Crossed the Desert by Rhoda Camul"

"Two tampons are walking down the street. One is a name brand, and the other is generic. Which one talks to you first? Neither. They're stuck up bitches."

"Loved Inception. It took me to exotic places I could never visit in real life, like the first class cabin of an airplane."

"i've got a pilot's licence... and i'm not giving it back to him. luckily he's too drunk to notice."

"If bird-watching is called bird-watching, what do you cal cow-watching? A steak out."

"Canadians like to brag about getting all four seasons: Winter Almost Winter After Winter Not Winter"

"[turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here"

"The doctor told me I should stop masturbating today. So I look him straight in the eye and asked him ""why?"". And then he said something about not being able to work in these conditions."