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Joke of the Day

"[turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here"

Next Joke
 
"A drug dealer sold me his shoes today I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day"
"BREAKING NEWS: They just found Hillary's emails. 30 thousand 'penis enlargement' offers."
"What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!"
"*lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word* *paperclip pops onto screen* Do you mean ""digger""?"
"Why did Mary Poppins break both her legs? because she had Supercalifrajilistic Osteoporosis"
"What is the most popular candy in Rwanda? Tutsi roll"
"Doctor Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!"
"My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks"
"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Zero."