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Joke of the Day

"The good news First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"I poured my root beer into a square cup Now I've just got beer."

"I heard hookers are now offering the ""Romney"" for $1,000. It includes every position."

"Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church? He wanted to speak in tungsten."

"2 Indian guys accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine... Both were rushed to hospital. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka."

"I don't come into YOUR bathroom and tell YOU how to tweet."

"*Morgan Freeman time travels back to 1810* Morgan Slaveman"

"*walks up to Michael Cohen's door* ""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Says."" ""Says who?"" ""THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."""

"my dance moves can best be described as ""did that dude just try to leap frog?"" & ""whoa that's a lot of blood"" & ""is he still alive?"""