200591

Joke of the Day

"If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes."

"Maybe you should get your own life so that you can leave mine alone, bitch."

"How to taste wine: 1. Slosh. 2. Smell. 3. Slosh. 4. Place ear over glass to hear the flavor. 5. Write short historical fiction starring wine"

"A man orders a coffee without cream The barista says, ""I'm sorry we don't have cream"". ""That's fine, make it without milk then."""

"[blind date] ""I'm like, really good at *looks on hand* making the sex"" -did you just read that off your hand? ""Hey! You're not blind!"""

"Man didn't invent the wheel It invented itself after seeing Chuck Norris."

"My mother picked up an Oreo but dropped it... My father looks and her and says, ""too bad you have butter fingers when you want an Oreo."""

"I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang"

"Where do you get sent if you have a brainfreeze? The iceeu"

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaay"