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Joke of the Day

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"I just put a bunch of lipstick up my butt. (NSFW) I've suddenly realized that makeup sex is highly overrated."

"The World's Shortest Joke - Jimmy Carr Dwarf shortage"

"What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged? Notice me sin() !!!"

"The most disturbing joke that ever made me laugh. What's 20 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?- Crib death."

"My girlfriend and I are always laughing about how competitive we are. I laugh more."

"A doctor tells his patient he has to stop masturbating... probably NSFW ""Why?"" the man asked. ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"I'd rather my son bring home a pregnant girl than head lice"

"I'm sick of closing out every job interview with ""I was young. I needed the money."""

"Being a gynaecologist is like being a pizza delivery guy. You can smell it but you can't taste it. I'm sure that's what paediatricians say as well"