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Joke of the Day

"I was arrested last week at the airport. Apparently, they don't like you calling 'shotgun' before boarding the plane."

"What to NEVER EVER EVER say to a fat girl (or a girl who is overly conscious of her own weight). (OC) As part of our team, you're expected to pull your own weight."

"Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you."

"If someone gossips to you, you can bet they also gossip about you..."

"I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate... Tell me if you can come."

"THE HORROR! *splat THE TRAGEDY! *splat IT'S AWFUL! *splat SO MUCH BLOOD! *splat WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! *splat -It's raining men."

"I thought landlady was the opposite of mermaid?"

"An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. I had a terrible stomachache for 2 days. It was worse than period pain. I masturbated for 30 minutes non-stop and now i feel great. :3"

"When the grid crashes and there's no other way of communicating, we'll see whose drum circle is ""stupid""."

"If farting was a mechanism to flag my territory, I would rule the world."