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Joke of the Day

"Two penguins walk into a bar... Two penguins walk into a bar. They look around for a second and then one turn to the other and says, ""God damn it, Frank! We overdressed!"""

"Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection? Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)"

"Decent One Liner! A seal walks into a club."

"Said this at dinner last night. Bit creepy, but laughs were had. ""He may die a virgin but he ain't gonna be buried one."""

"Never ever make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for a long time...."

"Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills? They're always looking for Grant money."

"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."

"I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs."

"Voat's servers"

"What vegetables do plumbers hate the most? Leeks"